The meaning of life...

It's been a really tough week for my church family. We lost a beloved member last Sunday and then two more this Monday. It's hard because you grow these relationships over the course of your life and the people you share your time with every week really do become like family. And then, just as with everyone, their time on this earth ends and you're left grieving.

I saw a sign on the way to work today that said "Life is a one time offer; treat it well" and it made thing "Dang, that's so true." You only get one shot at this life. And then that made me start thinking about what kind of stamp I'm leaving on the world. Will people remember me the way I want them to? Or will the remember me as a mean person who didn't like anyone?

Throughout the course of my adult life, I've tried to do charitable things and give to those who are less fortunate than I am. But I also try not to boast about it because that seems pointless. But it makes you wonder if the things you do are noticed by anyone at all. And if they're not, does that really matter?

I don't know what all the answers to life are, but I figure even if nothing I do in this world is ever noticed or is always taken for granted, that's okay because at the end of the day, maybe something I did will change someone's life.

My friend Janet once introduced me to this quote a few years ago, and it makes my heart happy and has been a sort of mantra for me ever since. I hope you see the value of it and try to live your life the way you should -- or the way you feel you should.

"the true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit"
- nelson Henderson

Welcome to Migraine City, I'm your Mayor

Wow. Long time, huh? I guess the most recent and probably ONLY thing that has really been going on with me lately is a bunch of migraines. And by bunch, I mean like 1 a day. Which is insane. In the big scheme of things, I should get about 2 a month. Not 30.

Two weeks ago, I had a migraine for 6 days. 6 days. That's almost a whole week, ladies and gents. I ended up going to the ER that week to get a shot to try and break the cycle. It helped, but mostly for that day and the next. I had a few headaches after that, and have basically had a headache every day since.

Here are a few answers to your most obvious questions:

1. Is it a brain tumor?
1. No. Not that they can tell. Nothing shows up on the CT scan
2. Is there something wrong with your sinuses?
1. Nope. Not since the tonsillectomy is there something wrong with those.
3. Are you sure they're migraines?
1. Yep. Once you have one, you'll know. And once the only thing that works is stabbing a needle pen into your leg, you'll know they're migraines.
4. What are you doing to help?
1. Well, for starters, I recruited the help of a new neurologist who happens to specialize in headaches.
1. She's given me a preventative medication which seems to be helping most of the time. Except that whole week that I now refer to as "migraine-gate."  However, with her help, I've gotten to part 2 of this equation which is..
2. I've recruited the help of a pain management doctor.
1. He gives me steroid shots and nerve blocks in the back of my head and neck to help break up some of the tension. The first time I had them done, it worked like a charm, until I got that first migraine (that led into the 6 day migraine-gate).
2. The second time he did the injections, he put me to sleep and used XRay guidance to get more to the heart of the nerve. The first day was poop and the second day was worst. Today is the 3rd day and I feel good. I think the steroids are starting to absorb into my body and alleviate the tension/pain. Could partly be because it's Friday. We will see.

So, those are the obvious questions. The less obvious questions are is there something wrong with your nerves or your arteries leading to/from your brain? Don't know yet. Haven't had a chance to ask the neurologist that. I do know that according to the FDA's standards, I qualify for Botox injections. But, given the fact that I haven't had a child yet (and desperately want to) she's not comfortable giving me the Botox until we settle on that. So, I'm taking these last few months of the year to fully exhaust all resources (since I've met my deductible and all) and am trying anything and everything in hopes that I'll find the cure to the migraines. If it was just migraines, or just headaches, I think it'd be easier to deal with. It's the combination of a headache one day and then a migraine the next that is throwing me off the most. Here's hoping that the next few months will lead to the promise land of the brain and we'll get it all figured out.

Anyway, that's why I've been absent from the blogosphere and have had nothing interesting to contribute.

For shits and giggles, here's a picture of a brain.

 

until next time blogospehere, until next time.

 



Political Bunkum

 

I really try to not let my Facebook feed get too political. I try. Sometimes though, I'm just so darn aggravated by something one of the parties did, that I comment. I'll admit, it's typically something the Conservatives did that pisses me off, but there have been plenty of times that the Dems have pissed me off too. I've even admitted on more than one occassion that I'm disappointed in Obama. WHAT? I know, right? Honesty. It's killer.

Yesterday, I was more than irritated that Governor Perry called a special session after the 10 hour filibuster that stopped new abortion legislation from going through. Why did the filibuster stop it? Because let's be honest, the law that is on the table is crap. I know it probably has some merit and maybe even some good points in it, but what it's ultimately going to do is force women to have abortions in places that they shouldn't. So, yeah, I'm against it.

But that's not what this is about. This is about political arguments. Why is it that instead of having healthy debates with each other, we so often get our feelings involved and stoop to insults? Are we really so dense that we can't think of something intelligent to say insted? I know that politics is very heated partly because you are talking about people's feelings. The issues are important and the emotions run high. But, that doesn't give us the right to say someone needs to see a shrink or someone else is a dick. What happened to good old respect for the person you were talking to, whether you know them or not?

It aggravates me because as long as we can't talk to each other, how do we expect our elected officials to be able to do so? If anything, they're more passionate about what the issues we're facing and have more emotions on the table (hopefully). I know that I get angry when people continue to argue and argue and argue and I feel like they don't have anything to back up what they're saying (i.e. Obama should be impeached), but at the same time, maybe, if I can keep my tone neutral and remain calm, we can both learn something from each other. Maybe, if we can act like adults, we can start figuring out problems together instead of pinning ourselves against each other. It's probably a lofty dream, but I for one am going to start working towards it.

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.” 
- Mark Twain

You don't always get what you want.....

Bleh. The past few months have been "BLEH." I feel like my body is falling apart on me and yet, I'm still here. My migraines have been super intense over the past few months and a lot more frequent. I finally went to the doctor today (mostly because almost all of my prescriptions are out) and he agrees that it's time to see the neurologist again. Here's the thing though -- he's going to say: "You're genetically predisposed to headaches and migraines." And I'm going to say, "Yeah, I know." For as long as I can remember, there have been headaches in my life. Ranging from mild to severe, they're one of the constants that I can always count on. I know, how lovely. I just don't think another trip to the neurologist is going to miracuoulsy fix it.

On top of that, I've been pretty down in the dumps. I know, surprising, right? *sarcasm*. I'm just in a big funk and I haven't found my way out yet. Which, if you were wondering, explains the lack of blogging. There's just nothing worth saying these days.

Anyway, I'm alive. I'm here. My head is hurting, but I'll survive it all somehow. Life goes on, right?

Hope the summer is exciting and fun for you guys! xoxo

Oi Vay!!!

I seriously don't know how people with massive amounts of friends do it!!! It's so hard to balance everyone in your life and give each one the same amount of attention!

I guess having that many friends is an amazing blessing, but I just feel so inadequate sometimes. Like I'm being a less than good friend because I can't see everyone every weekend or even call everyone on a regular basis. Makes me giggle a little though because this has to be the epitome of first world problems...I've got too many friends to see in one week! Geez. I sound like a doober.

The point is though, even if I don't see you every day, I don't talk to you every day, or even every week, you're in my thoughts and I love you. And above all else, I'm thankful to have you in my life and feel incredibly blessed that you are.

Cheers to friendship!