So, I've always had a problem of holding onto people that I shouldn't or of holding onto people who are done holding onto me. It's not just boys, it's girls too, so it's not about them being boys! But this week, I was examining my need to stay in touch with a bajillion people and came to the realization that I think it's more girls than boys who want to stay in touch with ex-friends, ex-lovers, ex-everything.
I've always had this desire to hold onto my exes. NOT really ALL of my exes, becasue let's face it, some of them weren't worth keeping while we were dating, but to the ones that touched my heart, I've always found it hard to not want to be their friend. Which, probably hasn't always worked out for their girlfriends, but at least on my side it's always been innocent. I think this is totally a girl thing because what guy is holding onto his ex if it's not more for reasons than being a friend? Usually if a guy is holding onto his ex, it's because he's still getting some, or hoping to still get some, or becasue he's in love with her and not ready to let her go. But girls, it literally hurts some of our hearts to let go of a guy. Not because we want to be with them, but because, at least in my case, I just want to know that they're okay. I want to know that they've found happiness with someone else. I fall in love too easily and because of that, I have a hard time pushing people out of my life. Sure, some of them really hurt me, so that made it easier, but there were the ones that I hurt that I long to talk to. I thought more than once, because I was foolish and young, that I found someone I could spend a lifetime with. I know, I know, you're thinking WTF right about now, but when you're young and in love, everything seems to last forever! It's those guys that hurt my heart. It's those boys that I wish I could call and get an update on. I want to know that they've found someone who makes them happy, and that our break up, albeit terrible at the time, didn't end their dating life. I know, selfish of me to think that I could ruin someone's life, but these were serious breakups folks! Okay, I'm giving myself a little more credit than I deserve, but being young is tough. T.O.U.G.H.
I wonder why it is that girls keep a place in their heart for boys that have broken it. We hold on to memories, songs, pictures, things that remind us of boys that break out heart. Boys on the other hand, throw out everything and don't think twice about the girl they just broke up with. (I know there are guys out there that truly have more emotions than the normal guy, I'm just speaking from the perspective I have and from the guy friends in my life). Guys can break up with a girl, wish her well, and move on. Girls on the other hand, cherish the time they had with a guy, even if he sucked at life! We dwell on how we were happy and how there were good times, even if the bad times far outweigh the good times. Ah, the female make up is so funny! and cruel!
There was really no point to this post. I wanted to be meaningful, and somewhere along the line, it kind of turned into something else.
My point in all of this would be that if there was a girl in your life who desperately wanted to know how you were doing, wanted to check in and make sure that you were happy in your life, and you're NOT still in love with her, just tell her that things are great, that your'e in love, your life is all planned out, and you're excited to wake up every day.
And in no way does this imply that I am unhappy in my life. I'm the complete opposite. And I think that's why I want to know that they're doing well too. We all deserve to be happy!
I'm going to finish this off with some words of wisdom from Kanye:
"how could you be so dr.evil, you're bringing out a side of me that I don't know, i decided that we weren't gonna speak, so why we up 3AM on the phone"
see...even Kanye decides what girls he talks to and which ones he doesn't!!! (that's a joke)
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