They don't teach you this in elementary school....

To say that the last year has been hard is a gross understatement. To say that it's been unbearable is probably an overstatement although it's felt unbearable at times.

Last Wednesday, my friend Colleen found out that her mother's cancer is back. I've known Colleen for a while, but in the past few years, we have grown close and I've learned a lot more about her. I've had the pleasure of meeting her mom and stepdad, and they are truly magnificient people. Colleen is amazingly strong and loyal and although this is going to be the second toughest thing she's ever had to experience, I know that she will come through this a strong person.

What bothers me about this is that Colleen and I are the same age. And yet, we've lived completely opposite lives. Colleen lost her father when she was very young to a heart problem that may or may not have been caught sooner. And  now, Colleen is on the verge of losing her mother. Her only remaining parent. She will be an orphan at 27. I can't even pretend to understand what she is going through or to understand how she needs me right now or will need me in the future. All I can know is that I cannot take this away for her or make it any easier for her. I can just be. Just be there for her and tell her every second of every day how important she is to me and how much her friendships means to me.

My friend Janet recently lost a friend of the family to breast cancer. Although a lot of men and women survive their battles with breast cancer, the fate of Diane was not to be the same. From what I understand, she fought a hard battle. From what I know based on strories Janet and her sister have told me, she was an amazing woman. And from what I know by spending time with her daughters, she was an amazing mom as well. Although like me, Janet has dealth with difficult battles before, this was different because Diane did not come out of it the victor. Diane was laid to rest this past Saturday.

The thing that gets me about life is this: when it rains, it pours. I will admit that up until this past year, I had a fairly fantastic life.  I had a guy who loved me and wanted me to be his for forever more. I had amazing friends and family who stood by through anything and everything and helped me get through tough days so I didn't have to do it alone. My life hadn't been marked by tragedy. I hadn't experienced anything horrific. All in all, my life was grand. The thing about life though, it seems to kick you in the teeth when you let yourself get slightly too cocky. And boy did it ever.

I know that bad things happen to good people. I know that bad things will continue to happen no matter what I do in this life. I know that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I understand that people live and people die. I understand that each person's life on this earth runs for a different amount of time whether it be 29 years or 54. I know that Diane and Preston are watching over the ones they loved and reaching out for us every day to let us know that they're still here even though we can't feel them.  I know that Janet will join them some day and will do the same for Colleen and her sister. And I know that the easy part of life is probably over from this point forward. That there comes a time in your life when the bad things seem to happen more frequently simply because time moves forward and you age. What I don't know, the thing I cannot grasp, is how to survive another year like this. Even another six months like this. I wish there would be a little bit more time in between the storms in our lives. Not so that we get too used to the good, but just so that we can be a little bit stronger the next time lightning strikes.