Today officially sucks.

This month, as I've mentioned hasn't been nearly the month that it was supposed to be. And it has in no way compared to the super fun, carefree month that July was. In fact, it flat out sucks.

Last night, over the course of who knows how long, my sister's dog passed away. It sucks because we were holding out hope that he was going to get better and would rebound from this bout of whatever it was. But he didn't. And my sister is left feeling like he thought they abandoned him and that's why he was there all alone. When in fact it was actually because the vet's office was closed and he was hooked up to an IV. I know that some of you have children, so your pets aren't as important to you as they are to those of us who don't have children.....but, when pets are part of your family, it's terrible to have to go through the loss of them. My only hope is that his natural tendency to be overly anxious has subsided and he's finally at peace.

My friend is still in the hospital with no known cause of illness. It royally sucks. All they know is that he's still having trouble breathing although otherwise he's doing better. SUCKS.

And today, of all days, is the 1 year anniversary of my sweet friend Preston passing away. It's surreal really. Hard to believe that it's been 52 weeks, 12 months, and 365 days since he was here with us. Time goes on I suppose whether we're ready to accept it or not. It always moves forward. Funny how that happens.

Squeeze your loved ones (human and otherwise) extra tight for me today. You just never know when it might be the last squeeze.

"when you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight"
Kahlil Gibran

Manual labor is not for me!!

This past week, an offsite office that my company owns and I basically manage moved from one floor in the building to another. Sounds like loads of fun right? You hire movers to move everything and piece of cake!

Not so. Not even close to being true. What happens is you hire movers, they move everything and then someone like me goes behind them and fixes all the loose ends and things that didn't get done right.

I went to college for a reason. I am still going to college for a reason. I can't wait to be the person who manages the person who handles this job next time. Because I am not made for manual labor. Not at all!!!!

Because of said manual labor, muscles I haven't used in forever hurt and I'm exhausted. It sucks.

Oh just a little thing called change....

First though, I have to direct you to my friend Colleen's blog because her postpartum hormones crack me up...

Read this: and then tell me that you didn't laugh....because you know you did.

Okay, so on to change....yesterday was a HUGE change in my workplace. Essentially, we are reorganizing and working with a smaller balance sheet which equates to some of my friends were laid off. Which SUPER sucks. I mean, majorly sucks. Among them is the guy I consider to be my "mentor" and I love him dearly. I'm not sure what work will be like without him, but he's staying through the end of the year so that's at least better.

My sister in law started moving her things out of the house this week. I'm totally bummed because I really liked having her around. Of course she came home at crazy times and was hardly ever there, but it was nice to know that she was there when the hubs was working or doing something without me! I'm going to miss her but I know that she should be doing something more fun than living with her brother and his wife.

The hubs starts school at the end of this month...officially. He's going to try his hand at nursing school and I'm super excited for him. I think he'll be an amazing nurse and I'm anxious to see how he likes it.

As for me, I'm just putzing along. I have 2 more classes to finish my MBA (if I ever go sign up for them). So that's exciting. Not sure what the plan will be once I have it. New job with super fat paycheck? Maybe. We'll see as time passes.

Anyway, I found this quote about change and it made me think about all the changes going on in my life. Enjoy.

"He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery."

Being helpless is the hardest...

I have a friend who is significantly older than me, who I've known my entire life, who is in the hospital. And as much as I want to think that my positive thinking can change the world, I'm feeling completely and utterly helpless.

It started with pneumonia (they think) and has no progressed into much more than that. He has cardiomyopathy and has had it for some time. I'm told that if the average person pumps out oxygen from their heart at 80/90%, he pumps it out at 40/45%. Something he's been able to live with but while being in the hospital, this has dropped considerably down to 20/25%.

Additionally, he's having trouble breathing. Probably started from the pneumonia but is continuing on. The pulmonologist said that his lungs have changed at some point and that might be a lifelong problem too.

It just seems like he gets better one day and then the next he spirals downward. As hard as it is to watch someone you like suffer from illness, it is 1,000 times harder to watch someone you love suffer from illness. I know he's uncomfortable in the hospital and he wants to go home. I know that he thinks he is in better shape than he really is. I know that he was probably sick for a long time before he finally went to the hospital. I hope he can pull through this without any long term problems or illnesses, but I'm just not sure.

If you're readings this, please send a positive thought or two to my friend Jim. He needs it more than you know.

Pay it forward.

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

A little change goes a long way....

I'm not what you would call "good with change". I don't typically handle it all that well. I like things to be in the right order and happen the same way. I like adventure and spontaneity, don't get me wrong, but big changes are hard for me stomach.

Things are changing around me at work and at home and I think it's making me a little antsy. The hubs has decided to go back to school and pursue nursing, a lifelong dream. And I'm about to finish my MBA and that's scary! What will I do with all my free time? There are also some big changes coming down the pipe at work , I fear, but can't be sure of that yet. We will all just have to wait and see before we know how to respond. Makes me nervous though! Change always turns my stomach in knots!

SO, I changed my blog around. It was fun. And it was change that I can control! :)

The hummingbird picture I took in Costa Rica. I think it's beautiful. And the colors are calming to me. :)

Hope you like it!

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.  The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. 
~Harold Wilson