Just one of those days...

See the thing about depression is this: some days are significantly harder than others no matter what you do.
Today is one of those days.

All in all, it's actually been a pretty good day. I got up relatively on time. Have eaten really well today and just got in a kick ass work out that could have knocked me on my ass, but I didn't let it. Overall, I should be swimming in happiness. But I'm not. And it's not something that I can necessarily put my finger on. Instead, it's just an "off" feeling.

I woke up missing my friend Preston for who knows why. I had a dream that I had forgotten he was gone and then his sister had to call and remind me. I've had dreams about him before that didn't necessarily result in my missing him even more, but this morning was different. And then I started thinking about my friend Jim. And that made it even harder.

But that's happened before and hasn't necessarily triggered an increase in my depressed state. Today is just off.

To top it all off, I've been feeling extra tired lately. And of course, exhaustion can cause depression. But depression can cause exhaustion. So it's hard to tell which came first. It's the chicken and egg conundrum if you will....hard to tell which came first...

Through all of this, there is one that I know undeniably and that is that there will be another day after today and it probably won't be an off day. It'll probably be a normal, happy day. So, it's just a matter of getting through today, feeling a little off and making it through. Hour by hour, day by day.

"Some days are for living. Others are for getting through"
Malcolm S Forbes