My friend Jim passed away on Sunday at about 12:20AM. I'm heartbroken, but at peace because I know that he would never have been the same had he ever gotten out of the hospital and I know that he hated every minute of being intubated and sedated, lying in a hospital bed.
His wife has asked me to speak at his service. Which is an amazing honor and one I will not take lightly, but I'm having a really hard time summing up what he meant to me. He was my mentor. My "adopted dad". And my friend. And for 23 years of my life he played such a big role that trimming it down to just 5 or 10 minutes seems to be an injustice. But, at the same time, I know that he would hate for me to get up there and dote on him for 30 minutes!
It's weird. You know, when people are living, we hardly ever think about what we would say about them if they passed. And then when we're gone, it's like we can't find the right words. Guess that's kind of the bitterness of death. You always feel like you could have enjoyed a moment with them a little bit more, stayed in that moment a little bit longer, or found the words to tell them what they meant to you before they were gone.
Luckily, I know that Jim loved me and he knew how much I loved him. That's something he taught me: ;love is the greatest gift and we should share it with the world. So I'm going to live my life in that way - loving those around me without fail and teaching others how to love. You never know how much time you have on this earth, and living in hate is just far too difficult. But living in love? Ahh, now that's rewarding.
Rest in peace my dear sweet friend. I know I'll see you again when my life here is through. I'll miss you every day of forever.
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