To say that my personal life is crazy busy right now is an understatement. And yes, I realize that those of you with kids are rolling your eyes hard right now. It's okay. I'm willing to admit that I probably don't understand busy just quite yet. And hey, maybe I never will. But that's a post for another time. Mostly when there are more cards on the table and more understanding for me and the hubs.
Anywho-- Hubs got a new job. Which, by the grace of God, and one A M A Z I N G friend, has been AWESOME! I actually get to see my husband, and spend time with him on the weekends! Who knew that was even possible?! We are so happy with the new situation. You really don't realize how much you miss each other when you're just used to not spending as much time as other couples together. It has been so much fun spending more time with my best friend!
It's funny how when you're younger, people tell you that you'll outgrow your friends and find new friends and it'll be okay. You're all "yeah, whatever, we're going to be friends forever!" Ha, just not true. Of course, some friends have survived childhood with me and I call them family. But those are a different kind of friends. The ones you see when they're in town and go to their weddings, etc, but not the kind that you burden with your every day drama and bullshit. (Face it, some of it is bullshit!). Then there are high school friends. Luckily for me, my two best high school friends are still very near and dear to my heart. I see them often, not as much I would like, but enough to remember what their faces look like, and I'm even playing softball once a week with one of them. Which, if our first game was any indication, is going to be amazing. These are the ones that you can not see for a few weeks, meet up, and remember exactly why they are your best friends. There's probably been some stupidity in your friendship that you might have had to get over, but it's cool, because in the end, your friendship was worth saving. Then, there are college friends. I have to say that I'm not the best at keeping in touch with college friends. Of course you guys (my loyal 5) know about Janet and Colleen and that we still keep in touch. It's funny because in college, we weren't that great of friends. But I'd take a bullet for them (hopefully in the leg or something) and I know that if I needed them, they'd be there in a heart beat.
And then, there's this whole new realm of friends that the hubs and I are finding....adult friendships. Most of these have come about from being members at our church, luckily, the one where I grew up, but some of them are from work and other places. It's been so much fun participating in these relationships and watching them grow and blossom. It's funny why you're drawn to people and then even funnier to find out what you have in common that you never imagined you would. We have certainly grown our adult friendship group exponentially in the past few months and it's been amazing! (I like amazing today, okay?)
And then, there's this unique friendship that I know some people have had for a long time, but for me, it's a newer thing....the friendship of your sibling(s). I'm not sure what changed over the past 2 years or so, but something did and it's been a blessing. I am proud to count my sister as one of my best friends. I think a lot of it was me. I'm not going to lie. I've grown and let go of stupid things that never mattered in the first place. But I've also gained some wisdom. I think I understand things that happened between us better now than I ever did before. And I understand that for most of my life, she's been doing what every good big sister does, she's been protecting me. I was just too dumb or self involved to see it. Whatever changed, me, her, us, I'm glad it did, because I treasure our time together. And I can say that knowing that I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
So, today, on this rainy Saturday in Dallas, I'm toasting to friends. Friends of all kinds. Old friends, new friends, sibling friends. I know that my life is made richer by the ones that are in my circle of trust and I am thankful every day for the people in my life that I can call friend. I only hope that they feel the same. And most of all, cheers to my best friend. My husband, my partner, my confidant, and most of the time, my shrink. Wouldn't make it through a day without him by my side.
"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side... "
-Unknown (as far as I can tell)
Showing posts with label friendships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendships. Show all posts
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
It's never easy to lose the ones you love...
Lately, I've been missing my friend Jim more than I'd probably like to admit. I pretend like every day is fine and I can get through most days without thinking about him too much, but I can't.
There are too many constant reminders. Thinks he used to say or do or meetings that we used to attend together. I know that it's all part of the healing process, but it sure doesn't make it hurt any less.
And I've really been missing my friend Hilary. We had a "break-up" of sorts. And I know it was probably for the best, but here lately, I've just wanted to call her and say "I miss you." Or did you see that stupid commercial? I've just wanted to hear her say something silly and make me laugh because I've so desperately needed a laugh these past few weeks. But, I also know, that I was honest with her. And I said things that I can't take back, nor do I want to. It would have been great if we could have worked things out, but sometimes, things in life simply aren't meant to be.
But it's still hard to lose the ones you love...whether it's a passing in this life or a break-up that was inevitable, it's not easy to say good-bye to the ones who had such a prominent role in our lives.
As for Jim, I hope he's found peace and happiness on the other side. As for Hilary, I just pray that she's happy and healthy. Because, regardless of whatever happened between us, she's an amazing person and she deserves that.
What's that one saying....if you love something you should set it free and if it loved you, it'll come back again....or something like that. Pretend I'm wise and eloquent.
There are too many constant reminders. Thinks he used to say or do or meetings that we used to attend together. I know that it's all part of the healing process, but it sure doesn't make it hurt any less.
And I've really been missing my friend Hilary. We had a "break-up" of sorts. And I know it was probably for the best, but here lately, I've just wanted to call her and say "I miss you." Or did you see that stupid commercial? I've just wanted to hear her say something silly and make me laugh because I've so desperately needed a laugh these past few weeks. But, I also know, that I was honest with her. And I said things that I can't take back, nor do I want to. It would have been great if we could have worked things out, but sometimes, things in life simply aren't meant to be.
But it's still hard to lose the ones you love...whether it's a passing in this life or a break-up that was inevitable, it's not easy to say good-bye to the ones who had such a prominent role in our lives.
As for Jim, I hope he's found peace and happiness on the other side. As for Hilary, I just pray that she's happy and healthy. Because, regardless of whatever happened between us, she's an amazing person and she deserves that.
What's that one saying....if you love something you should set it free and if it loved you, it'll come back again....or something like that. Pretend I'm wise and eloquent.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
They say that breaking up is hard to do....
Recently, my life has been all sorts of turmoil. There have been more hard days than easy and the situations I and my family have been going through have been extremely difficult. Through all of it though, I've gained some really good perspective about who my friends are and which ones are necessary in my life. And I've figured out that some relationships have run their course and are fizzling out.
It's been a really hard realization to come to because it's not easy to remove people from your life. Especially people whom you've cared about deeply and shared so many memories with. But, at the same time, the one thing I have learned and experienced over and over again these past few months, and years, is that life is entirely too short to live unhappy or with friendships that don't provide the nourishment and balance that you need in your life.
It's sad to me because looking back there have been some amazing memories and times with some of these friends, but then, at the same time, there's been some incredibly hard times as well. Particularly times when things were really hard for me and I didn't feel like I could call on them for help or support.
I've made the decision to be more committed to my friends and family and I don't think I could have done it without evaluating the friendships in my life and finding the friends that are worth keeping. The ones that have truly been there for me when I needed them, whether it was just an email offering guidance or an offering to meet up and discuss the current woes in my life.
I know that friendships can't be the same as they were when we were 4. I know that they take work. But I also know that one person shouldn't feel like they're putting in all the work. Life is better spent with fulfilling relationships that help us grow, and learn. Not ones that cause us to worry and suffer. It's just not worth it. Not at this point in our lives. Growing up really sucks.
I'll leave you with the Beatles. This song has always rang true for me, but more so today and than other....
In My Life by the Beatles.
"there are places I remember, all my life, though have some changed.... some forever not for better, some are gone, and some remain. all these places had their moments, with lovers and friends, I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living...In my live, I've loved them all"
It's been a really hard realization to come to because it's not easy to remove people from your life. Especially people whom you've cared about deeply and shared so many memories with. But, at the same time, the one thing I have learned and experienced over and over again these past few months, and years, is that life is entirely too short to live unhappy or with friendships that don't provide the nourishment and balance that you need in your life.
It's sad to me because looking back there have been some amazing memories and times with some of these friends, but then, at the same time, there's been some incredibly hard times as well. Particularly times when things were really hard for me and I didn't feel like I could call on them for help or support.
I've made the decision to be more committed to my friends and family and I don't think I could have done it without evaluating the friendships in my life and finding the friends that are worth keeping. The ones that have truly been there for me when I needed them, whether it was just an email offering guidance or an offering to meet up and discuss the current woes in my life.
I know that friendships can't be the same as they were when we were 4. I know that they take work. But I also know that one person shouldn't feel like they're putting in all the work. Life is better spent with fulfilling relationships that help us grow, and learn. Not ones that cause us to worry and suffer. It's just not worth it. Not at this point in our lives. Growing up really sucks.
I'll leave you with the Beatles. This song has always rang true for me, but more so today and than other....
In My Life by the Beatles.
"there are places I remember, all my life, though have some changed.... some forever not for better, some are gone, and some remain. all these places had their moments, with lovers and friends, I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living...In my live, I've loved them all"
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I'm a little worn out....
I've always found writing to be somewhat cathartic and this blog has been no different for me.
I'm a little worn out. I say a little because if I say a lot then I'll feel the pressure of "a lot" and then it'll be overwhelming. If I say a little then I'll feel the pressure of a "little" and it'll be easier to handle.
I feel like so many people are hurting around me and suffering and like there is nothing I can do to help. It really sucks. I know that most people would acknowledge that their friends are hurting and move on. Or maybe they wouldn't even try to talk to them about it. But, that's just not who I am. I'm hurting because I know that people I care about are hurting too. Not only that, but some of the hurting is very personal for me as well. My "adopted dad" is still in the hospital dealing with some pretty serious withdrawal symptoms from all of the medication he was on. Not only that, but he has been diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis which is a degenerative lung disease. Until he gets more stable in the hospital, we can't even know what level he's at.
And someone I care about deeply lost her husband. I wasn't particuarly close to him, but over the past 8 months, by serving on a committee with her, I have become very close to her. And I love her dearly.
The thing is though, I wouldn't change my life. I wouldn't change myself. Although I am hurting because people I love are hurting, when they are happy, so am I. When they are celebrating big events in their life, so am I. I feel the same amount of happiness for the good things as I do sadness for the bad things. So, it's okay. I'm going to be okay. We're all going to be okay. Someday, this will pass and it will feel like a distant memory in a crappy time in our lives. I'm not going to stop caring as much as I do or loving people as much as I do. For they are enriching my life in ways I never knew possible.
I'm a little worn out. I say a little because if I say a lot then I'll feel the pressure of "a lot" and then it'll be overwhelming. If I say a little then I'll feel the pressure of a "little" and it'll be easier to handle.
I feel like so many people are hurting around me and suffering and like there is nothing I can do to help. It really sucks. I know that most people would acknowledge that their friends are hurting and move on. Or maybe they wouldn't even try to talk to them about it. But, that's just not who I am. I'm hurting because I know that people I care about are hurting too. Not only that, but some of the hurting is very personal for me as well. My "adopted dad" is still in the hospital dealing with some pretty serious withdrawal symptoms from all of the medication he was on. Not only that, but he has been diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis which is a degenerative lung disease. Until he gets more stable in the hospital, we can't even know what level he's at.
And someone I care about deeply lost her husband. I wasn't particuarly close to him, but over the past 8 months, by serving on a committee with her, I have become very close to her. And I love her dearly.
The thing is though, I wouldn't change my life. I wouldn't change myself. Although I am hurting because people I love are hurting, when they are happy, so am I. When they are celebrating big events in their life, so am I. I feel the same amount of happiness for the good things as I do sadness for the bad things. So, it's okay. I'm going to be okay. We're all going to be okay. Someday, this will pass and it will feel like a distant memory in a crappy time in our lives. I'm not going to stop caring as much as I do or loving people as much as I do. For they are enriching my life in ways I never knew possible.
"One person caring about another represents life's greatest value."
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