I'm thinking of going private on the good old blog....my intention was never to get a bajillion readers, and really, I only write it to get your advice...
thoughts?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Proper Poo Etiquette
For everyone else.....this is going to be a poo rant!
I work in a nice corporate building in west Plano. We have nice things, not to mention nice restrooms. Especially considering what we could have.....I am so tired of walking into a restroom that only GROWN women use and finding remnants of the person in front of me in the toilet!!!
These come in the form of 3 things (at least most commonly)
- poo streaks still in the toilet
- the toilet protector sheet still in the toilet
- toilet paper still in the toilet
I just dont get it. We're ADULTS. Not 4 year olds. And I know that 4 year olds do better than some of these women because I watch them once a month at church and we take a LOT of bathroom trips together....still, they manage to flush down what they put in the toilet. It's an amazing concept, I know...but for the love of JEBUS learn to flush your leftovers!!!!
"Psychiatry's chief contribution to philosophy is the discovery that the toilet is the seat of the soul.”
-Alexander Chase
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A little lighter....
Since the blog has been all serious and no fun, here are some jokes to brighten your day!
From Michelle, age 9, Cheshire,CT
What did the teddybear say after his dinner ?I'm stuffed!
From Jonathan, age 10, UAE Dubai
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?Hey, where's pop corn?
And finally, my mom's favorite joke....
So two carrots are walking down the road....One carrot gets hit by a car. The ambulance comes and takes the carrot to the hospital. The second carrot drives to the hospital and waits for news of his friend. The doctor finally comes out and tells the second carrot "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you're friend is going to live. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
tee hee hee. knee slapping funny right there.
Much like suffocating...........
So, the blog has been kind of serious lately, and I apologize for that......but sometimes, I need to vent and this is my place for that. And sometimes, I need your advice and this is my place to get that as quickly as possible.
Today, this is going to be more of an explanation and letmeworkthroughthiscrap post, so bare with me on it.
I've written about my depression before, so to say that I'm depressed isn't really a shocker. It's there. I've talked about it before and usually, it's not that big of a deal for me to describe it to someone...how it feels, how it is never ending, how without the aid of medication, I'd be a completely different person.
But I've never talked about how it feels when you hit the low part of depression. When it feels like it takes all of your energy to just remember to breathe. When it's much like suffocating.
Yesterday was a bad day. And the thing about these types of bad days is that no matter how much you try and talk yourself out of it, you can't. You can't say "Tiff, this is stupid, quit being in such a bad mood." or "Tiff, quit crying, you don't even have a reason to be shedding these tears". Instead, you're a victim to the pain and you have to sit through it and pray that it's over soon. It's not like I woke up and said to myself "Today will be shitty. Get ready". Rather, it creeps up in small baby steps until you're completely engulfed by this dark cloud that is clouding your thoughts and fogging your emotions. It's kind of like if you got caught in the rain without your umbrella, only there was no door to run into for cover and you were just stuck standing out in the middle of the road until the rain chose to leave, only it's an all day shower.
Yesterday, I made the comment on my facebook status that I was going to crawl into my bed and cry for the rest of the day. Friends asked if it had to do with my friend Preston who is battling lymphoma cancer at MD Anderson and keeps getting not so great test results back. While this is definitely something that added to the pain of yesterday, it wasn't the sole reason for the pain and it certainly wasn't the cause. I can't even say that there is a cause....obviously, depression could be the cause, but other than that, it doesn't take a specific event to trigger the day. Sure, there are dates coming up in this month that I'd rather not have to go through and not have to wake up for, but I can pretty much find an excuse any day of the year when this happens. But the truth is, the excuse is not the reason for the bad day. Depression is.
Over the past few months, it's been better. I've had less bad days and more good and I was feeling pretty good about myself, my depression, and life. Yesterday really set me back. I hadn't felt that way in a long time and it was hard to handle. When you're used to bad days, you kind of make a routine. Okay, I'm going to lie here and take deep breaths until you feel less anxious, more calm. I'm going to think of sunshine and daisies and all the wonderful things in the world. But, when it creeps up on you, none of that works. It's easier to simply succumb to the pain and lie in your bed crying. See, the thing is, every day is a battle between good and evil. Everyday I have bad thoughts, good thoughts, crazy thoughts and my mind is fighting to preserve itself.
Depression isn't easy. And sometimes, it's hard to talk about. So, if you know someone suffering from depression understand that your understanding of the situation is the best thing for them, and that sometimes, it feels like being held under water without the chance to catch your breath. Sure, it's in our nature to help our friends when they're hurting, but sometimes, they have to go through. They have to experience the pain to get back on the other side of things. Just be there. That's all any of us can do.
Today, this is going to be more of an explanation and letmeworkthroughthiscrap post, so bare with me on it.
I've written about my depression before, so to say that I'm depressed isn't really a shocker. It's there. I've talked about it before and usually, it's not that big of a deal for me to describe it to someone...how it feels, how it is never ending, how without the aid of medication, I'd be a completely different person.
But I've never talked about how it feels when you hit the low part of depression. When it feels like it takes all of your energy to just remember to breathe. When it's much like suffocating.
Yesterday was a bad day. And the thing about these types of bad days is that no matter how much you try and talk yourself out of it, you can't. You can't say "Tiff, this is stupid, quit being in such a bad mood." or "Tiff, quit crying, you don't even have a reason to be shedding these tears". Instead, you're a victim to the pain and you have to sit through it and pray that it's over soon. It's not like I woke up and said to myself "Today will be shitty. Get ready". Rather, it creeps up in small baby steps until you're completely engulfed by this dark cloud that is clouding your thoughts and fogging your emotions. It's kind of like if you got caught in the rain without your umbrella, only there was no door to run into for cover and you were just stuck standing out in the middle of the road until the rain chose to leave, only it's an all day shower.
Yesterday, I made the comment on my facebook status that I was going to crawl into my bed and cry for the rest of the day. Friends asked if it had to do with my friend Preston who is battling lymphoma cancer at MD Anderson and keeps getting not so great test results back. While this is definitely something that added to the pain of yesterday, it wasn't the sole reason for the pain and it certainly wasn't the cause. I can't even say that there is a cause....obviously, depression could be the cause, but other than that, it doesn't take a specific event to trigger the day. Sure, there are dates coming up in this month that I'd rather not have to go through and not have to wake up for, but I can pretty much find an excuse any day of the year when this happens. But the truth is, the excuse is not the reason for the bad day. Depression is.
Over the past few months, it's been better. I've had less bad days and more good and I was feeling pretty good about myself, my depression, and life. Yesterday really set me back. I hadn't felt that way in a long time and it was hard to handle. When you're used to bad days, you kind of make a routine. Okay, I'm going to lie here and take deep breaths until you feel less anxious, more calm. I'm going to think of sunshine and daisies and all the wonderful things in the world. But, when it creeps up on you, none of that works. It's easier to simply succumb to the pain and lie in your bed crying. See, the thing is, every day is a battle between good and evil. Everyday I have bad thoughts, good thoughts, crazy thoughts and my mind is fighting to preserve itself.
Depression isn't easy. And sometimes, it's hard to talk about. So, if you know someone suffering from depression understand that your understanding of the situation is the best thing for them, and that sometimes, it feels like being held under water without the chance to catch your breath. Sure, it's in our nature to help our friends when they're hurting, but sometimes, they have to go through. They have to experience the pain to get back on the other side of things. Just be there. That's all any of us can do.
Monday, August 2, 2010
the fragility of life.....
did I say that I need you
did I say that I want you
oh if i didn't I'm a fool you see
no one knows this more than me......
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all.
© SONY/ATV TUNES LLC;SONY BEATLES LTD
did I say that I want you
oh if i didn't I'm a fool you see
no one knows this more than me......
heavy title, I know.
There are dates in time that sometimes we wish would never recur. There are moments we wish we would never have to remember and there are things we pray we can forget. but the dates keep coming, the moments are there and the things we want to forget linger.
2009 was a year that I desperately wanted to end and wanted to forget. However, in the months since 2009 has passed, things haven't been forgotten, and dates keep coming......
The year started normal enough, although I was stricken with just about every kind of random illness one person can possibly have. It was rough, but I managed to get through most of it. And then, the bottom fell out.
Starting in June, 2009 was a whirlwind of emotions and heartahe. First, we lost our beloved dog Abby. She had been around since I was in 5th grade and she was an amazing friend. I still miss her dearly.
August has been a hard month for a few years now, since the passing of my great Aunt Chia. (I know, weird name, but my mom couldn't say her name when she was little, so Chia came out!) To say that I miss her is a gross understatement, because there are some people who leave a hole in your heart when they pass. This August marks the 5 year anniversary of her passing and it's going to be just as hard as the past 4 years, I am sure. In August 2009, my grandfather passed away. August 10 to be exact. Some of you may remember because I wrote about my last few minutes with him and the clarity that he seemed to find as I was saying my final goodbyes. I can not believe it's almost been a year since that tearful goodbye between us. My heart still aches when I'm in San Antonio, at his house, or when my mind finds his face, but it gets a little bit easier every day.
In September, my world was changed forever. My sister was 6 months pregnant and in what felt like a heartbeat, she lost my sweet baby nephew. Wow. it's hard to say almost a year later. I will never forget the heartwrenching drive to the hospital, or the look on her face when I got there. And I most certainly will never forget the scream of terror that left her mouth when the doctor confirmed the worst. I do not want to believe that it's almost been a year because it feels like it was yesterday. I know that my sister's life was saved that day, and that's what helps me get through the tough days, but I can't help but be angry that he's not here. It just doesn't seem fair in the big scheme of things.
After September, 2009 is pretty much a blur. I can't remember much of what happened and I think part of my memories are blocked. I remember starting 2010 thinking that I was going to pull the ones I loved closer to me. I don't think I've done a very good job of that as of late, though. In my life, I've had the tremendous joy of having several friends who I consider family and who I lean on in time of distress. However, some of them I don't see very often, nor do I talk to that often. And it makes me sad and mad at the same time. Sad because I love them, and I miss them. And mad because I should be doing a better job of holding them close to me.
So, although some tough times are ahead for myself and especially my family, I'm going to work on pulling those I love closer to me. Letting them know that they're important to me and that I love them more than life. Because in the end, it's the family you have and the family you make for yourself that is going to pull you through tough memories, tough moments in life and years you wish you could forget.
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all.
© SONY/ATV TUNES LLC;SONY BEATLES LTD
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