If you died today, would you have a legacy to leave that you were proud of? Would you feel as though you'd accomplished what you were sent here to accomplish? Would you say you were proud of the life you led?
Tough questions, right?
I don't know if I necessarily think that everyone leaves behind a legacy. If you read some of my other posts, my legacy might be that of a crazy person. Or, of a funny, caring person. At least that's what I would hope people would say about me. Would I feel as though I accomplished everything I was supposed to? I don't know. I've always said that I have a desire to help people. It's part of the reason why I majored in Emergency Administration and Planning. But have I helped people this far? I don't know. Sure, I've made donations here and there or given food to a homeless person. But did my donation save their life? Did that sandwich do something to change the homeless person's situation? Probably not. Am I proud of the life I've led, thus far? I would say that I am. For the most part, I try to treat people they way that I like being treated. I've tried to show compassion to those who deserved it. I've tried to be the shoulder to cry on, the one to defend you when needed. I've tried to be the best friend, sibling, and family member that I know how to be, but has it been enough?Hard to say.
But what would I change?
For starters, I'd probably go back a few years and change the relationship I have with my sister. Instead of being someone that she can't get along with, I'd be more of the sister that I wanted in my own life and listen to her more to be the kind of sister that she wanted too. I'd probably take back a lot of hurtful comments and actions. I'd do more to help others. Sure, donations and things along those lines go far, but sometimes, just sitting and listening goes far too. I think I would have gotten involved in speaking up about things that have affected me in my life sooner. I often think that I'm going to get involved now, but it's hard to talk about some of the things we experience in life, isn't it? I also think that if I could go back a few years, I'd spend more time with loved ones that have long left us. Not that they didn't know that I loved them and cared about them deeply, but I missed out on hearing so many stories and learning things about them that I could have. I'd also be a better friend. There have been instances in my life where I have no known the best response to different problems my friends are having. Instead of being there by their side, I've sometimes shut down and not known the best approach. I somehow missed the lesson that sometimes, all your friend needs is someone to sit with and to hold their hand.
So, what am I going to do?
I'm going to be more vocal about situations that I've gone through and how I managed to come out on the other side. I'm going to listen to my family members more when they talk to me and try to be the best person for them that I can be. I'm going to work on strengthening my friendships and relationships so that the people in my life know they can always call me for support. And I'm going to find projects that I can do and really help people.
Don't fear your mortality, because it is this very mortality that gives meaning and depth and poignancy to all the days that will be granted to you.
Paul Tsongas
1 comment:
Good post - thought-provoking! I think that those "regrets" - those wishes that we would have spent more time with loved ones, been a better friend/sister/lover to those we cared about, while we can't go back and change them, help shape us going forward. Because we feel these things - because we wish to do better and we have those regrets - makes future encounters with our loved ones more meaningful. Kinda like that whole ying and yang thing - because we've felt pain or regret, now we can truly understand joy and purpose.
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